Back in flow
Oh how I’ve missed holding my camera and being in awe by the unexpected balance of light, a subject and my own personal curiosity.
For months I mainly worked in a facilitating role as a set manager on a Dutch children’s series. A nice job, decent pay, absurd hours, but… an overwhelming lack of personal creative inspiration. Sure, I could bring the camera and take some shots - I did, and I promise I’ll post about it later - but it just wasn’t satisfactory. And because of the absurd long hours I didn’t feel the energy to go out and about in the days I was off.
But, as the production came to a ‘wrap’, and we all work as freelancers on projects like these, I suddenly was free. Bringing along a weird contradictory feeling of absolute freedom and rest versus an uncomfortable “what now?” and “how far will my money take me?” The latter two continuous fed by anyone and anybody who I would speak to after wrap. These are literally the first two questions EVERYONE will ask when I tell them the production is over.
The day after wrap, my girlfriend had scheduled an appointment at the tattoo artist to finish a beautiful piece on her side. I know the artist, Rey, quite well, as he has done some work on me as well as some friends and I love to walk in every now and again. Of course in this case I came along for the day and decided to bring my camera. Both my digital dream machine - the Leica Monochrom - as well as an analogue medium format Mamiya, loaded with some Ilford HP5 black and white film.
And everything clicked into place. Just fitted like a pair of old jeans… It all came back, I lost myself and disappeared in complete flow. This is what I need to do, what inspires me, satisfies me and fills me. This is what I love doing. So there we are. For now, I’m recovering from crazy hours and enjoying my well deserved rest. While at the same time peeking into a future of new projects and portraits and old passion projects that still need continuing. For all I know suddenly I’ll be shooting a wedding… It’s been a while.
