Permanent Beta / by Daniel Maissan

We’ve arrived. In the forest. At a festival which will slowly unfold during this week. The kick-off has already taken place and the tents are ready for use. The kitchen is at full speed and the campfire is burning. People are reuniting. They talk with each other, they share and all the ‘fresh blood’ - people who are at the festival for the first time - are welcomed with open arms. The ambience is open and warm, and at the same time inspiring and challenging. A perfect combination between calmness and doing some odd jobs. The sun rayspeaking through the trees and I start to feel present. What a rollercoaster it was, those past couple of weeks. 

What comes to mind are the moments I had to say goodbye to my loved ones, the last couple of days. An difficult thing for me to do. Even though I realize, I’m carrying all my loved ones with me. In my hart. Always. Still I can’t hold them physically and I can’t look them in the eyes. Something I’ve already realized, but not experienced yet before. Now I do. And that sucks! It feels like there’s an incredible distance between us, which I can’t bridge at this very moment. A sensation that tells me I haven’t grounded jet. And maybe I don’t want to ground yet, as it comes with a lot of tears. Not because I’m sad, but because I have to surrender. I have to let go. I have to ground. Feel. Embrace. Be. 

For Daniel, it all works very different. Besides the fact that he has traveled a lot and has a lot more experience in saying goodbye, he’s present in a split of a second. He’s truly at the Permanent Beta Festival. Without hesitation. Almost effortless, he is where he is. Like a dog wagging his tale. As we speak, he’s happily hopping across the field, taking pictures of moments that make him wonder. A pleasure for me to look at. 

Today is a new day and I look forward to everything I will experience and feel. 

Text: Maartje Grond
Photography: Daniel Maissan